Polysecure
Jessica Fern's 2020 book is a working manual for nonmonogamous people who want to apply attachment theory, the Bowlby and Ainsworth psychology of how children attach to caregivers and how those patterns play out in adult love, to a relationship structure that the original research never imagined. Fern, a couples therapist who works with polyamorous and open-relationship clients, walks the reader through the four standard adult attachment styles, secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized, and then through what she calls the HEARTS framework, six concrete practices that nonmonogamous partners can use to build secure attachment with more than one person at a time without collapsing into jealousy or avoidance. The book is unusually candid about the author's own breakup with the partner who pushed her into nonmonogamy, and it has become the most cited working text in the modern polyamory community. A follow-up volume, Polywise, appeared in 2023.
Themes & atmosphere
What you might want to know about Polysecure
The questions readers send us most often, answered without spoilers.
Therapist Jessica Fern applies attachment theory to consensual non-monogamy, walking through nervous-system basics, attachment styles, and her HEARTS approach to security across more than one relationship.
Polysecure (2020) is Jessica Fern's framework for applying attachment theory to consensually non-monogamous relationships. The book introduces the HEARTS framework for building secure attachment with multiple partners.
Jessica Fern is a licensed psychotherapist, and the book draws on attachment theory, polyvagal theory, and her clinical practice. The work is widely respected in poly and ethical-non-monogamy therapy circles.
Polysecure was written by Jessica Fern, published in 2020 by Thorntree Press.
Polysecure is 288 pages in standard print editions, though page counts vary slightly between hardcover, paperback, and large-print formats.
At an average reading pace of about 250 words per minute, Polysecure takes most readers 4 to 6 hours to finish.
Polysecure is a standalone novel by Jessica Fern, not part of a series.
Polysecure is available in hardcover, paperback, ebook, and audiobook formats from Amazon, Bookshop.org, ThriftBooks, and most major bookstores.